The Real Life of Barbie

I just ate half a bag of stale popcorn from last night. I want to throw up.  I’m lonely and sad. The person I see most these days is my dog.  Fortunately he loves me unconditionally.  I don’t see my parents because they leave before I wake up and I get home after they go to sleep.  I’ve hardly talked to my boyfriend in days because he works all the time. as do i. I’m watching movies I’ve wanted to see for the past two years while sitting in my filth on my couch.  I need to clean my house for my boyfriend to come visit, but it’s hard to clean when my parents leave their junk all over the house it little stacks of clutter that collect dust until their become as much a part of the landscape as the tacky wallpaper.  I’m embarrassed to let my boyfriend come stay with me, but at the same time I miss him so much I would live out of my shitbox 2000 camry for a year if it meant I could see him everyday.  Actually, right now, that sounds even better. Because my camry is already clean.

I miss college. Like when I was little and I would look at pictures from camp and wish with every fiber of my being that i was there.  I wish I was at school. I read the words Boulder Run and Marvins and my heart just aches to be there. 

I can’t believe I only have two years left

I just aced my Developmental Psych Final

After 12 hours of mad studying.  Did I moonwalk home to turn on Bon Jovi’s Living on a Prayer and break out wildly dancing and singing in my room by myself?

You betcha.

Wailing key changes.  BAMF.

Dumb Blondes

It always bothers me that people call barbie a bad role model and poor representation of women.  Hey, Barbie is smart!  Barbie is a career woman!  Just look at all of her many interests and careers!  (and while you’re at it, imagine how many years of school she must have had…)

• Aerobics instructor (1984, I can be… Gymnastics Coach 2009)
• Art teacher (2002)
• Dance teacher
• Elementary teacher (1985, 1992, 1995, 1996, 2006)
• Sign language teacher (1999)
• Spanish language teacher (2001)
• Student teacher (1965)
• Swim teacher (2005, I can be… Swim Teacher 2008)
• Special Education Teacher
• Dentist
• Doctor (1988, Pediatrician 1994, I can be… Baby Doctor 2008)
• Nurse (1961)
• Surgeon (1973)
• Veterinarian (I can be… Zoo Doctor 2008, I can be… Pet Vet 2009)
• Paratrooper (2000)
• United States Army officer (1989, Desert Storm 1992)
• United States Air Force jet pilot (1990)
• United States Air Force Thunderbirds (1993)
• United States Marine Corps officer (1991)
• United States Navy officer (1991)
• Ambassador for world peace (1986)
• United States President (2000)
• Presidential candidate (Barbie for President 1992, 2004,2008)
• UNICEF Summit diplomat (1990)
• Firefighter (1995)
• Life guard (Baywatch 1994)
• Police officer (1993)
• Canadian Mountie (2005) (available only in Canada)
• Astronaut (1965, 1985, 25th Apollo 1994)
• Computer Engineer (I can be… Computer Engineer 2010)
• Paleontologist (1997)
• Flight Attendant (American Airlines 1973-75, Flight Time 1989)
• NASCAR driver (1998, I can be… Race Car Driver 2009)
• Pilot (1990)
• Stewardess (American Airlines 1961-64, Pan Am 1966)
• Architect (2011)
• Artist
• Athlete (Gold Medal Barbie 1975, Olympic Gymnast Barbie 1996, Olympic Skater Barbie 1997)
• Babysitter (Barbie Babysits 1963)
• Ballerina (1961–present)
• Business executive (1960, 1978, Day to Night 1985, 1999)
• Cat burglar (Barbie by Christian Louboutin)^[1]
• Cheerleader (1973, Pom Pom Divas 2006, Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Barbie 2008)
• Cowgirl (1981)
• Chef (1996, I can be… Bakery Chef 2008)
• DC Comics superheroines
• Designer (2008)
• Fashion Model (1959–present)
• Guest editor of international fashion magazine
• Hair Dresser (2008)
• Make-up artist (Barbie loves Mac 2007)
• McDonald’s cashier (1983)
• News anchor (I can be… News Anchor 2010)
• Pet stylist (I can be… Pet Stylist 2008)
• Photographer
• Pop singer (Barbie and the Rockers 1986, I can be… Rock Star, 2009)
• Princess (1990s-present)
• Scuba diver (1994)
• See’s Candy cashier (2002)
• Secretary (2007)
• Sea world trainer (I can be… Sea World Trainer 2009)
• Soda fountain waitress (Coca Cola Series 1998)
• Starfleet officer (2000)
• TV chef (I can be… TV chef, 2008)
• Wedding stylist (I can be… Wedding Stylist, 2009)
• bus driver (I can be…bus driver,2010)

Rose Dance Barbie

Boyfriend’s formal was this weekend.  Who doesn’t love an excuse to get dressed up, swing dance, and stop to smell the roses?  Um, literally.

Rose Dance Barbie <3

Barbie’s Hopes and Dreams

One of my sorority sisters found a stray dog this week.  She’s the cutest little thing ever, reminded me so much of my own puppy back home.  I tried to convince my mom to let me bring her home and make her MY dog, but she wouldn’t be convinced.  She said I can’t get a dog until I have my own house.

Well FINE, MOM.  I WILL get my own house, and I WILL get my own dog.  And it’s going to be the year after I graduate.  And, continuing in the barbie dream world, I’ll also be engaged and have a sweet ass job.

This Barbie wants to live in Wilmington, North Carolina. 

Not far from the beach.

In a house with a wrap-around porch where I can drinking margaritas in rocking chairs with my girl friends.

My dream house.  And I will have a puppy.  Part Chow or Shiba Inu.

I will have a sweet job.  Secretary or Dr. of Therapy by day, stay-at-home mom or housewife by night.

And I will be very in love.

BARBIE DREAM LIFE!!!

This is also my attempt at extreme procrastination.  I don’t really want to write my Developmental Empirical Research Paper.  Can you blame me?

Yet another moment when

Boyfriend declares his undying love for me.  And he’s incredibly drunk on a weeknight.

It’s okay.  I know he really does mean it, and I’ve got MusickTheories to keep me company anyway.  I can simply last the rest of the night (and morning) on those sweet, sweet words, “You are the love of my life.”

I am greater than the sonata form.  I can beat this.  You don’t scare me.

I’ve Got A Date Tonight

… with MUSIC THEORY.  Take home test?  Chaaa.  Ten page paper?  Chaaaaaa.  Both due tomorrow and all night to work on them?  Chaaaaaaaaaaa.

I hope Boyfriend doesn’t get jealous.

Speaking of jealous, all you sorority girls who didn’t win the Lilly Pulitzer Print Contest?  Sorry dears :(  better luck next time.  Hoping Boyfriend will keep that in mind when Christmas comes around.  He did know about it before I did.  Who has two thumbs and an awesome man who keeps on top of important current events?  THIS GIRL.

recall

Okay.  So last night I had this amazing dream.  Pretty much everyone I care about told me how much they love me, Boyfriend even had a special surprise for me (I got lavaliered IN MY DREAM.  Which I guess is kindof appropriate since I’m not actually going to get lavaliered.  It’s not his style).  And I was incredibly happy in this dream.  And I woke up feeling so silly for having been so down on myself last night.  It’s like my subconscious knew that I wasn’t listening to reason.  So how come my subconscious knows how to be happy, but I don’t?

I don’t think I’m beautiful, and I probably never will.  But I can at least try to be happy and accept that there are still a lot of people out there who love me and they don’t deserve to hear me whining about how much I hate myself right now, or on my many down days. 

So I’m sorry.  I will try to do better and be happier.